First "Performance"

So tonight was our first "performance." Really, it was nothing like they'll be from now on...just an artist showcase so we could hear each other, practice being onstage with lighting and sound, and so Tom, Warren, and Rick (our "professors") could critique us and see where we are starting out. I'll admit, I was pretty nervous. Like I've said, there are so many amazing artists here...and I feel pretty much like a fish outta water when I hear them. But once I got out there, I felt confident, I loved being able to enjoy singing my own songs and really show the feeling behind what I was singing...I'm even excited to do it again! I know the critique will get pretty harsh...they're known for being brutally honest with us on how much we need improvement. I even heard a girl cried cause one of the staff stopped her during her song during class and asked her not to finish because it was so awful. So by next week I may feel like crying, but it feels good to know that I can somewhat hold my own here.

It's really going so well--I know that in the next week things will start to get real busy, and there will be days I'm so tired I can't think straight, much less sing, but I know I'll get through those days. I'm here with some really awesome girls. Even though we're all trying to be artists, they're all so encouraging, and a great sounding board for my songs. It's so much fun when we all just hang out, listen to each other play, come up with harmony's, and just to see the talent that they have. And when we're not playing music, we're already having tons of fun just hanging out. I'm really blessed to be here with these girls. I mean, divas are not hard to find in the music business, and I really expected some really attitude when I came here.

I'm so excited to get into actual song-writing and performing. I want to push myself to really get better at both kinds of writing I do. Praise and worship based songs, or songs about my testimony, I want to really hone in on how to describe that but also connect with listeners. And I would love to write more "secular" songs, and am interested in trying out writing songs for other people to sing.

So, at this point, my morale is up a bit, and God's definitely had my back in showing me I can trust Him. I know that even if I do awful at times or want to cry, He's got me. I love the verse Psalm 37:5 the way The Message translates it: "Open up before God, hold nothing back. He'll do what needs to be done." I love how it says "hold nothing back." I'm learning that when we're leaning on Christ, and looking to him for what accomplishment or success is, there really is no reason to hold back. We can put everything we have into it, and trust Him to do with it what's right.