Sunday, January 16, 2011

After Orientation, Before Classes

Classes start tomorrow! Actually, chaos starts tomorrow. It's really hard to just call it classes like normal...because our classes lead into long rehearsal sessions that can be at anytime--all night long if we need to. We go from one thing to the next, all on different schedules, so I know keeping what I'm supposed to be doing and where I'm supposed to be straight is going to be hard for me. I did get a handy-dandy day-planner though, so hopefully that helps.

I'm really nervous, but really excited to see where I find my "niche" in music. I know that my passion is from a worship/ministry perspective, that my music is my testimony, the way I share with others what I've learned and hope to connect with them on a deeper level. It's hard because at times I want to have the voice or music of someone else here...but I know thats definitely not why God brought me here. I'm finding that the more I try to do what I want to do because it looks like so much fun for others...the more I fail and feel insecure about why I'm here. But when I'm focused on why I really love music, what its brought me through, and how it tells my story, I start gaining some confidence back. It really makes me realize how much God does not give us opportunities so that we can live it up just to have a blast. Instead, I think he gives us opportunities that are sometimes hard or painful, sometimes the thing we don't want to do. He makes us grow in a way and at some point we start seeing the true satisfaction that comes from seeking what God wants for our lives--not just what we want. I'm not saying this as something I know...but something I'm starting to figure out.

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