End of Week 1

It's officially the end of the first week. It actually feels like I've been here awhile, mostly because we took a field trip every day this last week and went at least 3 places a day. It was really interesting--we saw both ends of the spectrum of working in the industry. We were able to see some of the most successful people: Kelly Clarkson's Music Director, Martina McBride's husband's recording studio, Toby Mac's studio, the Nashville office of the Emmy Awards...and then we saw people who were past their forties and still struggling to make an entrance into the industry. The more I saw, the more (I'll admit) I was intimidated by it all. It really is a cutthroat business all about who you know, who they know, and how they can connect to you to important people. It involves a lot of doing "dirty jobs" just to be in a place that holds some sort of opportunity for a break.
Seeing all this, I really was able to see where my desire with music is. I love writing songs, and so far I've loved being on stage and putting together an actual show. But I know my passion with music lies mostly in writing about my faith and my struggles, and using that in a worship setting. I love the idea of combining having really deep talks and forming relationships with girls to mentor them and just be there for them...and then be able to do worship along with it. Dream job, right there. Sign me up!
I don't play in the coming show this Thursday night, I'm on the next rotation for the week after. But, I am singing back up vocals with an extremely talented artist, Meredith Carter. This girl can sing, and she can write amazing music. Her music reminds me a lot of Kari Jobe...which is awesome. We've got three part harmony going on the two songs she's doing this thursday, along with a cello playing....I got goosebumps in rehearsal from it all!
Monday is when things are really supposed to start kicking off: Classes start, and by that I mean classes are actually held and not replaced by driving around Nashville. We'll start getting songwriting assignments and start recording, on top of rehearsals for shows and practicing our own stuff. It'll be crazy. One good thing that is definitely happening is I'm becoming more organized. Granted, most of its due to the fact that each artist is assigned a manager to keep their schedule and be the contact for other musicians when we're putting bands together...but my lovely manager, miss Amanda Schopf, has already got me using excel to track my spending and keep up with my budget! My dad should be so proud...I did not get his ability to work with money and numbers.
I still can't say enough how much the girls I'm with have made this so amazing. The more I get the know them, the more fun we have, the more we're able to support each other and each other's music...it's just so awesome. I know by the middle of the semester we'll all be stressed and crazy, but I think we'll still be able to love each other.
I'm missing everyone at home, and am glad for a busy schedule so I don't dwell on that too much! Wish everyone could come visit me in Nashville!

I am absolutely floored by all the talent I've already seen in just the first few days at CMC. Let's start with the other students here: AMAZING. Seriously, you should hear these guys. There's guys who sound and play like Jon McLaughlin, girls who can compete with Martina McBride, and so so much more. It's crazy! We've only played a preliminary artist showcase night, and even with all the mess ups and mishaps its so obvious there's so much talent.

Then, there's the actual celebrities or professional songwriters and artists we've met. Sunday, Kelly Clarkson just walks out on the stage at CMC and sings back-up with Jill and Kate, one of the headline bands for the night. The other day we were informed Amy Grant was downstairs doing a press conference or something, today we were at the house of Reggie Hamm, the guy who wrote the song David Cook sang when he won American Idol. The professors have played with major bands, and even the musicians we've met who haven't made it "big" are so talented....its crazy. This city really is just so full of music EVERYWHERE. It's awesome. I'm so excited for when we visit the Bluebird Cafe and other open mic venues.

It's gonna be full of ups and downs, but I'm so excited for this semester! I'm definitely learning what the music industry is really like, and honestly, I don't think being a full time artist or songwriter is something I would want as my career. But I do see how its affecting my passion to have a ministry in music even if its not "big," as well as my love for songwriting. I don't know if I'll stick to being in any part of the music industry, but this semester is still so amazing. I'm growing so much in my music, but even more as a person. It's amazing what leaving your safety-zone can do to build character. It's challenging, but I know its so good for me.

First "Performance"

So tonight was our first "performance." Really, it was nothing like they'll be from now on...just an artist showcase so we could hear each other, practice being onstage with lighting and sound, and so Tom, Warren, and Rick (our "professors") could critique us and see where we are starting out. I'll admit, I was pretty nervous. Like I've said, there are so many amazing artists here...and I feel pretty much like a fish outta water when I hear them. But once I got out there, I felt confident, I loved being able to enjoy singing my own songs and really show the feeling behind what I was singing...I'm even excited to do it again! I know the critique will get pretty harsh...they're known for being brutally honest with us on how much we need improvement. I even heard a girl cried cause one of the staff stopped her during her song during class and asked her not to finish because it was so awful. So by next week I may feel like crying, but it feels good to know that I can somewhat hold my own here.

It's really going so well--I know that in the next week things will start to get real busy, and there will be days I'm so tired I can't think straight, much less sing, but I know I'll get through those days. I'm here with some really awesome girls. Even though we're all trying to be artists, they're all so encouraging, and a great sounding board for my songs. It's so much fun when we all just hang out, listen to each other play, come up with harmony's, and just to see the talent that they have. And when we're not playing music, we're already having tons of fun just hanging out. I'm really blessed to be here with these girls. I mean, divas are not hard to find in the music business, and I really expected some really attitude when I came here.

I'm so excited to get into actual song-writing and performing. I want to push myself to really get better at both kinds of writing I do. Praise and worship based songs, or songs about my testimony, I want to really hone in on how to describe that but also connect with listeners. And I would love to write more "secular" songs, and am interested in trying out writing songs for other people to sing.

So, at this point, my morale is up a bit, and God's definitely had my back in showing me I can trust Him. I know that even if I do awful at times or want to cry, He's got me. I love the verse Psalm 37:5 the way The Message translates it: "Open up before God, hold nothing back. He'll do what needs to be done." I love how it says "hold nothing back." I'm learning that when we're leaning on Christ, and looking to him for what accomplishment or success is, there really is no reason to hold back. We can put everything we have into it, and trust Him to do with it what's right.

After Orientation, Before Classes

Classes start tomorrow! Actually, chaos starts tomorrow. It's really hard to just call it classes like normal...because our classes lead into long rehearsal sessions that can be at anytime--all night long if we need to. We go from one thing to the next, all on different schedules, so I know keeping what I'm supposed to be doing and where I'm supposed to be straight is going to be hard for me. I did get a handy-dandy day-planner though, so hopefully that helps.

I'm really nervous, but really excited to see where I find my "niche" in music. I know that my passion is from a worship/ministry perspective, that my music is my testimony, the way I share with others what I've learned and hope to connect with them on a deeper level. It's hard because at times I want to have the voice or music of someone else here...but I know thats definitely not why God brought me here. I'm finding that the more I try to do what I want to do because it looks like so much fun for others...the more I fail and feel insecure about why I'm here. But when I'm focused on why I really love music, what its brought me through, and how it tells my story, I start gaining some confidence back. It really makes me realize how much God does not give us opportunities so that we can live it up just to have a blast. Instead, I think he gives us opportunities that are sometimes hard or painful, sometimes the thing we don't want to do. He makes us grow in a way and at some point we start seeing the true satisfaction that comes from seeking what God wants for our lives--not just what we want. I'm not saying this as something I know...but something I'm starting to figure out.

Mixed Feelings

It's weird to try and grasp that I'm on my Mac, listening to my little brother play his high school basketball game in Hillsboro...and I'm sitting in Nashville getting ready to move into school tomorrow! As it gets closer, I get more excited, and the longer I'm actually in the city the less scary it seems (so far). I think I just have this view of being in a city like Nashville, like I don't belong if I'm not the next T-Swift, which is a pretty big dream of mine (haha). I'm definitely ready right now to move into my apartment and meet the people I'll be with for the next three months. Actually, I kind of just want Monday to get here so I can start classes and see how crazy challenging this semester is going to be. It's always waiting for things to happen that's the worst, then once they do, you always find out its not as bad as you made it to be in the parts of life you wasted worrying about it. Funny how we worry so much and it actually hurts us....yeah I'm still working on kicking that habit!
I really have no idea what to expect of this semester. Part of me is wishing at least one other person is as intimidated as I am about putting my music and abilities out there to be critiqued...but of course right now I feel like I'll be the only one there who feels inexperienced. The thing is, I know I'm supposed to be right where I am because of some reason God has, be that music or something else. There were countless opportunities for my chance to spend a semester here to be cancelled, and yet each time God made it so evident that I wasn't getting out of it. So, as nervous as I am, I'll keep reminding myself that if I'm worrying about the other parts of being here, I'm wasting time because God will do what he wants with these next months whether I'm stressing out or stress-free!

The Day Before...

So this will be my update-center for my semester in Nashville. I leave TOMORROW! It's crazy it's finally here, I feel like I've been talking about going for forever, and tomorrow I'm actually getting in the car and going. I don't know how interesting my updates will be, but here's where I'll post them, so if you want to hear about what I'm up to I'll post here when I can!